The Wish Someone Dead Foundation, a new nonprofit organization dedicated to countering the animal-unfriendly efforts of the group, Hunt of a Lifetime (which was founded in 1998, after the Make a Wish Foundation ceased granting wishes involving the use of firearms or other weapons designed to cause injury), has awarded 7 year old leukemia victim, Gerald Watkins, a chance to fulfill his lifelong dream of offing a trophy hunting scumbag. The charitable group plans to fly the boy to Zimbabwe, outfit him with a sniper rifle and plenty of ammunition and line him up with a professional assassin who will instruct him in the fine art of dispatching a camo-clad nimrod with one clean shot.

Although society generally frowns on children (outside the military) being trained to kill other people, the raw deal this young terminal patient has been dealt in life seems to justify an exception to the rule. And besides, the target Gerald has chosen to eliminate—Philippe de Sade—couldn’t be more deserving. In one African safari, De Sade shot and killed species including elephants, hippos, buffaloes, lions, cheetahs, leopards, giraffes, zebras, hartebeest, impalas, pigs, the not-so-formidable 30-pound steenbok and even a mother ostrich on her nest. No wait, that was Teddy Roosevelt, musing in his autobiographical, African Game Trails. But this De Sade guy is a pretty murderous a-hole too…
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(This has been another installment in EtBG’s “Headlines We’d Like to See.”)