Text and Wildlife Photography © Jim Robertson
Blame it on animal cruelty overload, or maybe it was the beer (I only had one, in dog years), but the other night at the annual family spring birthday party, I finally came unglued and lashed back at some glib remarks from my brother-in-law.
You see, my wife and I have been vegan for upwards of 15 years now, but we’ve managed to keep get-togethers with corpse munching, secretion gulping extended family members relatively civil—mostly because we’ve avoided talking about the subject, while they’ve “accepted” our being different.
Oh, there were a number of years when they went along with having a mostly vegan meal to humor us (except for their precious cheese). But then came the wisecracks. If there’s one thing I won’t stand for, it’s mockery from meat-eaters who can’t seem to conceive of compassion for non-human animals (besides maybe their own dog or cat).
On the night in question my sister had decided we should all bring lasagna for the birthday dinner. While they had the standard beef dish, ours was a vegan version (of course), with Daiya non-dairy cheese and Tofurky Italian sausage inside. We also had a shaker of dairy-free parmesan cheese on the table. When my sister asked what it was, my brother in law made some crack about it not being “real” and therefore did not contain the good for you things dairy supposedly has in it.
“You mean like pus?” I said, to everyone’s shock. “And then there’s the veal calf who has to suffer for every glass of milk or slice of cheese.” To that my willfully uninformed brother-in-law retorted, “I don’t have any veal in my cheese.”
“Sure you do,” I told him, “dairy cows won’t produce milk without first being impregnated—and the newborn male calves all end up dragged away from their mothers and stuck in tiny crates or chained to the floor in windowless veal barns.”
His only response? “I accept that.”
Exposing the Big Game 
thank you – I’ve got my “stories” too. it’s really aggravating when we come crashing into peoples’ defenses.
Some people are more defensive than others.
Great, Jim! The Daiya cheese–how do you rate it? I have been meaning to try it?
By the way, I have begun saying this to meat eaters: “Gee, well, you know, humans have quite a history of eating each other? Maybe you should try human flesh for a change!” Boy, it sure shuts them up! Frankly, I never have any animal flesh around, and if someone wants to eat with us, they will not get it.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t at our house. People never visit here because they know they know we don’t have any lying meat around. The Daiya cheese is great, especially in a dish like that. My wife says you need a hot oven to make it melt. That was mozzarella, but they have cheddar and other styles.
Good for you Jim! Oh I know, it’s not easy! But I also keep on fighting the good meaningful fight.
I totally relate. At family dinners my brother ‘n law would try to pick a fight between my husband and I. He would push a piece of meat in front of my husband look at me and say, “Oh just let him eat this…what’s the big deal?” After brother ‘n law had a child he started watching lots of docs. Forks and Knives had a HUGE impact on him and their whole family turned vegan. He has never acknowledged or apologized though for his behaviour towards me. Family dinners are now strictly vegan though so no complaints.
That’s an amazing story; you’re lucky! You may never get an apology out of him, but at least the conflict is over.
Good for you Jim is right! It does get old after a while. I am so tired of the typical questions, “What do you eat??!!” or “how do you get protein??” I had the China Study at work the other day and 2 coworkers who are suffering with various health problems inquired about the book. They pretended to be interested but then I got the above questions. Last week a friend of mine invited me over and said I’ll throw a couple of steaks on the grill. I sighed and said remember I don’t eat meat. Oh, ok he said, then I’ll make chicken. Geesh. Reminded me once again that most people are clueless. I recently did a random survey just asking people I bumped into about puppy mills and if they knew what they were plus other questions. I really thought that they would at least know about puppy mills since cats and dogs are completely different then other animals in most people’s minds. But no, they were just as clueless. It was very depressing. I love Daiya cheese btw.
Thanks Lane. I’ll never get why some people think chicken flesh (or fish) isn’t made of meat. It’s all blood supplied muscle tissue, fat and cholesterol…
Yea, there’s a point at which some people interpret our “being nice” as being apologetic and uncertain about the truth behind our choices. I’m happy to hear you stood up and defined the “why”. Sounds like how I respond at that point. Even if they say idiotic things at the time, you can be certain many will keep thinking about it.
Thanks, and good to hear from you.
Thank you for this post. It sounds very familiar; with a few variations, but the basic scenario is the same. We vegans are the outliers/strange ones, and the people who consume other sentient beings or their bodily secretions because they have been taught by their parents, and reinforced by our cultures/society to do so, are ” normal”. I too am getting fed up( no pun intended) with animal-eaters and their cruel to the animals, destructive to the environment and unhealthy way of living. And my wallet is also losing weight as I am forced to support these people by my taxes and health insurance costs.