WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief- Not Real News)— In a stunning move by GOD, according to the Washington Post, our Heavenly Father arranged a private meeting for NOAH and President Donald J. Trump to discuss Trump’s recent gutting of the U.S. Endangered Species Act.

The meeting took place last Sunday at President Trump’s New Jersey golf club, which was secretly arranged by Vice President Mike Pence. According to an anonymous Pence staffer, “Pence was thrilled to prove to the world that he really does have a direct line to GOD, and he was also confident there would be nothing God, nor NOAH, could say to Trump to change his mind.”

The staffer added, “Mike knew Trump knows…