The May 2022 Commission meeting will be held May 3-4 at the Hilton University of Florida Conference Center in Gainesville.

Ian Nance

CorrespondentView Comments

[5 HOODED MERGANSERS–WTF!!]

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I’m convinced, Hooded Mergansers are simply Wood Ducks that have been corrupted by the Dark Side.

Similar in size and sharing a proclivity for nesting in tree cavities, the bill of the hoodie shrivels into thin, serrated forceps ideal for catching minnows, forsaking the broad palette of reds and yellows suited for snacking on acorns and seeds that a wood duck possesses. The hoody’s eyes turn yellow, and the resplendent, confident crest of the woody transforms into a periscoping coiffure that desperately flashes a patch of white feathers at female suitors and male rivals.

Without a doubt, they’re tougher to splash than a wood duck. As for their kitchen quality —well, while the wood duck is prized table fare, the fishy…