Hunt the Hunters

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Here’s a classic vintage quote from the late Cleveland Amory, founder of the Hunt the Hunters Hunt Club…

“Our position is simply this: we want to do for the hunter what the hunter does for the animal–shoot him for his own good! Now, I admit that some hunters are so shortsighted they don’t realize we’re doing this just for them. It must be made clear that hunters are breeding like flies, overcrowding the fields, damaging the forests. But our club isn’t trying to exterminate them; we’re just trying to thin the herd.”

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28 thoughts on “Hunt the Hunters”

  4. YEP, Right On, I always tell hunters that when they get smart ass with me, that “I love to Hunt Hunter’s” they look at me with shock on their faces, like how dare I, hahahaha, dumb ass’s!

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  5. I do believe there is many drugs going round the campfires those humans sit and plot around. Animals know better than to mess with drugs but heaven knows what would happens if given a weapon, beer and drugs what they might do …. Just look at the vast majority of hunter bottle, beer, drugs go hand in hand along with a weapon be it a gun, bow, poison or trap. Since they like to be high while hunting … why not take a cyanide capsule while your at it humans, why waste a good high on an animal who ~YOU~ think is below you ….. Long Live Animals to someday take this planet by storm!!!!!

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  7. I good perspective reply, take the animals’ view. I think there should be a redneck on redneck season. I have also suggested exchange guns for paint ball and hunt each other.

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  8. It’s not clear to me that the Cleveland Armory’s mission statement is current with what is now best available science. While its statement might have helped it to get its firearms into the hands of high-minded citizens wanting to control the hunter blight, we now have better methods to control their populations. For instance, by snaring or using leg-hold traps, we can immobilize the hunter with a ketamine dart, and while the hunter is in a euphoric state of drug-induced stupor, remove its gonads. This prevents the hunter from continuing to reproduce, while allowing it to continue a full and meaningful life. Typically, you should clip the lobes off each ear, so others can tell at a distance that it’s a neutered hunter. Local Trap-Neuter-Release programs can provide more information. Some people advocate a forehead tattoo to indicate neutralization, but practice has shown that the long, sloping forehead is too narrow-minded to hold much in the way of information, even pictorial information.

    A more controversial method of control that has drawn outrage from extremist hunter-protection groups–groups that believe hunters have ‘rights’, are sentient and can feel pain, and actually have rudimentary family and social organization–is called “Home Invasion,” or more commonly, “denning.” Denning consists of finding the hunter’s home territory, often in close proximity to hunter rendezvous areas called “taverns,” and taking out the pups and the bitch (technical nomenclature is “wife”), or, at least neutering them. Some scientists claim that the hunter will have more and more children when under stress, so neutering the wife is a necessity.

    Astute readers will note that several species frequent taverns, however, in a hunter tavern, the hunters change to a protective coloration scheme called “camo,” Scientists are unsure whether this coloration is supposed to help improve their breeding opportunities, or to signal something of social standing. Further research into this strange behavior is needed. Clipped earlobes help observers determine whether there is a change in status as a result of neutralization.

    As I have posted in previous comments, two, and no more than three, breeding pairs might be allowed per state. These should be closely contained in a small geographic area, where scientists could carry out controlled-experiments to determine whether hunters have any ecological value.

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  10. I’m currently working on a novel along the line of the “Turner Diary”, so this is all strictly hypothetical mind you, but see what you think of the plot line. A hardcore cell of animal rights activists, sickened to near clinical depression by the depredations and gratuitous cruelty inflicted by American sport hunters on wildlife, by the connivance of government and a ratings-driven comatose media, and by the ineffectual handwringing of the mainstream environmental/animal rights movements, decides to take matters into its own hands. After obtaining rudimentary training in military tactics and the black arts by enrolling in programs run by right-wingnut militias and equipping themselves with the necessary weaponry, they start “taking-out” wolf hunters and “varmint” hunters with long distance sniper shots, shooting down helicopters carrying wolf hunters with .50 caliber rifles, blowing-up cars and homes belonging to wildlife abusers identified in the newspapers and on the internet, and systematically eliminating “high-value targets” like those suits who finance or are flacks for pro-hunting, pro-animal-exploiting organizations. The motivation behind this band of fed-up justice-seekers being that since “democracy” clearly has not been working in the interests of animals and since pursuit of the “American dream” of acquiring wealth and enjoying unlimited personal freedom seems to have become a nightmare for every other non-human entity on the planet, they’ve got nothing to loose, other than their personal freedom or lives, by responding in this manner. The rationale for undertaking such a program of “terrorism”, other than the deep personal satisfaction that comes from doling-out some well-deserved justice to evil-doers, is that by introducing a heretofore non-existent element of risk for those considering abusing an animal, there will be some appreciable deterrent effect that works to animals’ advantage. Of course their reign of “terror” will be short lived as the government and its law enforcement stooges hunt them down and wipe them out for inconveniencing business as usual in these United States; but at least they will have made a statement, raised a flag that the best of humankind can rally around.

    Of course all of this is just a pipe-dream, a fictionalized story, something that I don’t think you can be prosecuted for (yet) under AETNA. But maybe it would still be worth writing.

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    • Sounds great. And if you put enough action and gratuitous violence in it, you might even be able to sell the film rights (as long as the story ends with their reign of “terror” being short lived as the government and its law enforcement stooges hunt them down and wipe them out for inconveniencing business as usual in these United States). Any other ending would be taboo for mainstream audiences. Too bad it can’t be a happy ending, like that the public gets behind the movement and all but the evil doers live happily ever after; but that wouldn’t be realistic.

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    • I totally love the idea, it’s time has come and totally worth doing. I think if you can explain the horrors of the animals suffering well and make the chacters very appealing, young, sensitive and good looking and make the law enforcement the bad guys totally you could get away with a very modern version of them escaping at the end to Switzerland ?

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    • Gawddammit! I knew there was a mole in the organization, but none of the members wanted to trap it, because it went against their ethics and goals, and now the whole plan is being exposed on the internet. Guess they should cancel the Bofors gun.

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