The U.S. Department of Agriculture’s “Wildlife Services” department needs to be renamed…again.
That warped, wretched little wildlife-killing agency formally “Animal Damage Control” isn’t fooling anyone with their innocuous appellation: Wildlife “Services.” Even the New York Times recently ran an editorial entitled, “Agriculture’s Misnamed Agency,” declaring: “It is time the public got a clear picture of what Wildlife Services is up to, and time for the Department of Agriculture to bring the agency’s work into accord with sound biological practices.”
Marc Bekoff dubbed the agency, “Murder Incorporated”—others have given it a less wholesome label. Hoping we would go easy on them, USDA representatives asked the staff of Exposing the Big Game (me, myself, and my wife) to come up with another new name for their Wildlife “Services” department. Here’s what we came up with:
Top Ten New Names for Wildlife “Services”
10) Wildlife Termination Services
9) Government-issued Animal Abusers
8) Evil Anti-Wildlife Nazis
7) Seven Psychopaths
6) Biodiversity Busters
5) U.S. Department of Nimrods
4) A Bunch of Loathsome Cattle-Barron Butt-kissers
3) Chaos
2) The Animal Abolition Agency
1) Two words: Wildlife Disservices
__________________
A division of the:
Exposing the Big Game 
How about Wildlife Terrorism Agency, Wildlife Demolition Agency, or “We Hate Wildlife and hate those who who defends them,Wildlife Agency 🙂
Good ones! I’ll add them to the updated top 20 list!
Good News!!!All wolf wildlife and earth defenders around the country are invited…The National Rally to Protect America’s wolves to be held in Washington DC on Saturday Sept 7th 2013 from 9 a.m. To 4:30 For information and to register for the rally go on this website http://www.rallyforwolves.org
Thanks for the info and link about this Nancy
Jim,
your sense of humor is so witty despite the somber, terrible subject
There’s no humor in the somber situation, but there’s plenty to mock about the other side. We can’t take them too seriously or we’ll implode.
My favorite is “A Bunch of Loathsome Cattle-Baron Butt-kissers.” But then they might get confused with the Forest Service, the BLM, and western state governors,and representatives. And here’s a Number Eleven: WildDEATH Services.
You’re right about the FS, BLM, etc, And #11’s going on the list.
Hah, I was about to say to add WildDEATH Services to the list too. Great top ten, Jim. Of course our “public servants” are nothing more than government thugs employed to protect vested interests. And those interests (mainly cattle ranchers) are empowered due to the public’s addiction to steaks & burgers.
Lose-lose-lose. People are so easily led down the garden path.
The wolves innocently pay the price being hounded, abused, tortured in traps, their lives taken, their families left broken and confused if not entirely wiped out. Extremely sad.
@Wolf haters: There’s a huge price to pay for all this…it will come due someday. And “God” won’t help you even if you’re a card carrying member of Jesus’ fan club.
If they could read they might be worried.
I like #s 10, 9 and 8.
🙂
How about “Department of Wildlife Services j- WE KILL ANIMALS so you don’t have to”
Great, I just need a few more to make 20…
How about- “The FEDERAL GOON SQUAD” – If it’s breathing we’ll kill it……..preferably with hounds, conibears, and poison……If it’s your family pet tough shit……what do you want – an apology?
Great, that’s going on the updated list!
I call them hunters with badges
and traps, and snares, and poison.
Good ones Jim! “USDA”. United States Destroyers of Animals…. You Pay We Play
Why not Department of Corrupt out the Ass?
Ok four more and we’ve got a top 20 list, people.
Neanderthals Wildlife Service
I revised this one a bit for the Top 20 list–Hope you don’t mind;)
Pingback: Top TWENTY New Names for “Wildlife Services” | Exposing the Big Game
Cowards inc
Pingback: I want change. Do you want change? | Girl for Animal Liberation
Hi Jim,
Nancy brought to my attention the ping back at the bottom of this post. Any idea how that happened?
Oh wait never mind — I figured out why. Because I linked this post to my post. DUGH! Sorry dude. Long tiring week with a sick 12 year old cat with a heart condition… I’m looking forward to having 3 days off. Buh-lieve you me! 😐
Sorry about your cat.