Make no mistake; though my last name is Robertson, I’m no relation to those imposters from that stupid “reality” TV show, “Duck Dynasty” whose ugly mugs grace the front of a new line of T-shirts for sale at Wal Mart.
How do I know they’re ugly when I don’t get cable and have only seen their show once, for less than a minute? It’s true you can’t really tell what they look like under all that facial hair, but like I said, I saw their show once—for almost a minute. That’s all it took to see how ugly they are on the inside.
Before I realized what I’d stumbled upon and could flip the channel away from the enticing ignorance, I was forced to endure a tactless, feeble joke about roadkill and the approving chortles that followed.
The attitude toward wildlife exhibited by the “cast” of Douche Dynasty is an insult to the Robertson’s good name and a blasphemy to ducks and geese everywhere.
My great grandfather didn’t immigrate here from Scotland only to have the Robertson name sullied by a bunch of celebrity-wanna-bes or ZZ Top impersonators, sans the fuzzy guitars.
Exposing the Big Game 
Thank You for this blog. I am so sick of Duck Dynasty and all the idiots raving about how great they are and how good their show is! Seriously people? What is so great about a show where a bunch of dirty hairballs run around killing ducks and small animals? WTF?
Duck Dynasty Sucks!
I had the same thought, Jim. You need not worry anyone would confuse you with that bunch of greedy gritty halfwits. It’s like a ‘B’ horror movie for window-lickers and mouth breathers. Obviously some woman of ill repute used the phone book to pick out first and last names for her baby, somewhere in the US or Scotland in the seedy brothels frequented by drunken sailors!
I picture you more walking the path of John Muir and Aldo Leopold, not trying to get a bass boat unstuck from a tree, ass deep in a swamp! No way you are related to them! No proper Scotsman would make such a fool of himself as they do!
Not to worry, Jim. Nobody could ever mistake you for the DD Douchebags. Or for Pat Robertson, either.
I recently saw the Wal Mart t-shirts and the big poster pics of those repulsive men. Nice thing to show children so they can emulate these throwbacks….! Nowadays the uglier more repulsive you are…ready for stardom! Those stupid beards.
As a regular television viewer for some 50 years (a fact that I am in no way proud of!), I feel compelled to ask what does the coarsening, vulgarization, and degeneration of our entertainment media say about humanity’s progress and the future of “civilization.” After all, aren’t we constantly being told that the family of man is getting smarter, more ethically aware, and better in every way? Some very bad things were going on 20, 30, 40 … years ago but at least it wasn’t celebrated and idolized in the media. I cannot remember from times past anyone even remotely as repulsive as the scumbags who are now routinely lionized in the media precisely because they are so disgusting or do such morally abhorrent things. And we’re not talking here just about the toothless backwoods yokels shooting alligators in the swamps or wolves on the tundra but also the pseudo-sophisticates like Anthony Bourdain, darling of the liberal glitterati and epicurean effete.
When a horse was forced to jump to its death for a Hollywood movie in the 1930’s, public outcry forced a code of practice to be enacted in the film industry reflected by today’s disclaimer that “no animals were injured in the making of this film.” Where is the equivalent public outrage nowadays when animals are routinely tortured, shot, beheaded, … in the interests of television entertainment? Reveling in another’s suffering is as sure a sign of moral degeneracy as anything I know; and if, as Gandhi claimed, a civilization’s moral progress can be measured by how it treats its animals, what is one to conclude about the current trajectory of American society? I’d say it’s on its way to surpassing the Roman Empire at its most decadent.
It’s definitely a big step in the process of moral decay. And as you said, “Some very bad things were going on 20, 30, 40 … years ago but at least it wasn’t celebrated and idolized in the media.” Exactly right, the media are reveling in the decay for some reason. Their “whatever sells” attitude will come back on them.
Reason is that it’s cheap to produce. Give a bunch of inbred rednecks a camera and they will act foolish, mean, stupid…and get rich doing it. They are the new version of Beverly Hillbillies. It’s golden for the networks. The investment is low and the profits are high. Greed drives this rash on face of media. Not public opinion! They don’t care what you think as long as you keep paying the cable bill! The FCC has more control over broadcast media over public airwaves. We, as citizens, own the airwaves and have every right to complain to the FCC! What you purchase over cable is far less under their control. Call your cable provider and complain then threaten to dump them. The do hear that message loud and clear! Most of the problem is that laws not only have not kept up with “progress” in ways to broadcast a signal to you. The cable industry has lots of money to grease the palms of decision makers to scream first ammendment rights to avoid all common sense and decent behavior in production of these repulsive shows. And what is the end result? Big profits for the whole industry, merchandisers like Walmart, free luxuries for politicians, the dumbing and numbing of America and ‘little Johnie” down the street feels no remorse as he tortures and kills the neighborhood pets… it’s a timebomb of budding psychopaths all over North America! I say untie the hands of the FCC. We need to have more tv like PBS and less violent, racist, sexist garbage on tv! When my son was little, I put the tv knob on PBS and took the knob off and hid it. He turned out fine! I wish things were that simple now!
Yes to everything you say but the sickness, I believe, is more fundamental than just a bunch of amoral capitalists who will give the public whatever it wants if it can generate a profit. Nobody forces the viewing audience to watch these shows nor to purchase the merchandise generated by them nor to patronize the commercial interests that finance them. When I was a boy, the magazines offered at the checkout stands in supermarkets were Time, Newsweek, Reader’s Digest and (I swear I’m not making this up, Foreign Affairs!). What do you see offered now? Is this some vast conspiracy by the capitalist oligarchs to dumb-down the American public, as left-wing ideologues would have you believe, so that all they will ever think about is consuming more of their products; or is it that the agenda-less owners of these stores simply recognize what the public will and won’t buy and pander to whatever the consumers want? That, in a nutshell, is the fundamental problem with democracy and free markets and why we now find ourselves on the fast track in the race to the bottom.
I agree that the sickness is widespread, spanning all classes.
Bourdain is more dangerous than the yokel ding-dongs because he represents a certain elegance and standard of living-or as you put it so well-the epicurean effete. The glitterati set the standards-the rich and greedy quicken the trajectory. The hirsute hordes bellow in the outbacks.
I do not know how to put it…but we are benumbed. That is why there is no outrage generally. I feel an underlying depression regularly these days but I’ve never been the happiest of people since the day I was born. Now I sometimes if not all the time feel strangely disconnected to the world. Maybe it’s my age. This ship is going down one way or the other.
Maybe this will cheer you up? Try giving Ralph Nader a call, he’s always got something going on to try to stop the horrible tv shows. Maybe you can help Ralph brainstorm the next attempt to control violence to people and animals on tv? His office is in DC. I really don’t know anyone else who isn’t a bible thumper, who’s got the lawyers and drive to change this.
Thanks Melody. TV does seem to be going crazy these days. Have to be careful looking at the show menu. That’s why I feel pretty safe looking at paranormal shows.
I watch the news then turn on the radio and listen to the blues. It helps dispell the negativity from watching the news. 🙂
They made millions by harming smaller critters that are forced to be apart of their sick kingdom. But I for one live by a higher standard, because no kingdom should be made on the backs of slaves
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