The Boss Hunting Truck can track down big game for big bucks

[This gives new meaning to the phrase,…]

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by Alex Lloyd

When hunters need a vehicle for their excursions, the first choice tends to be a heavy-duty pickup — think an old Ford F-250 equipped with a viewing box on the bed, a few gun holders within, a beer cooler, and for the fancy even a camouflaged paint job. Parker Brothers Concepts, creator of pro-wrestler John Cena’s Incenarator from this year’s Gumball 300, decided to take that concept a step further, building what it calls The Boss Hunting Truck and billing it as “the luxury hunting truck of the future.”

If you want to hunt in opulence, (and who doesn’t?) the cost of this truck will set you back as much as a nice house. The Boss Hunting Truck starts at $200,000, but by ticking various options, it will quickly rise to $500,000.

Based off a Hummer H1 K10 Series, the Boss Hunter sports a tuned 6.5-liter turbo diesel meshed to its four-wheel drive system. Inside sits an abundance of leather with “The Boss” decals and a custom steering wheel. Five monitors for six external cameras are equipped, along with a CB radio and internal gun holsters with additional storage for ammo. The shop will also add a drone plane with iPad control and camera feed for “live viewing” of any extant deer, squirrels or chupacabra, if you so desire. Additional gun storage can also be optioned, as can a magnetically interchangeable exterior camo design.

…More about this slightly exaggerated version of the typical American sportsman’s war wagon here: http://autos.yahoo.com/blogs/motoramic/boss-hunting-truck-track-down-big-game-big-212333552.html

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Unfortunately Twinkies are Back, and Sport Hunting isn’t Gone Yet

In honor of the return of the Hostess Twinkie (just announced on CNN Money), I’m revisiting a post I wrote last November, entitled:

Sport Hunting Should Go the Way of the Twinkie

Bemoaning the end of the Twinkie era (the company was only able to sell 36 million of the nutrition-less, lard-filled sponge-cakes last year and thus had to declare bankruptcy), the press have been calling Twinkies an American icon; a “family tradition,” even.

But what do Twinkies have to do with sport hunting? Well, both are long-standing traditions that should never have been. Hostess Twinkies (on par with hot dogs and canned spam) are an extremely unhealthy, potentially addictive, pseudo-food gimmick that should never have been invented, while hunting is a murderous act of desperation that should never have been taken lightly enough to have morphed into a sport. Both have seen better days, but while the Twinkie, along with its partners in crime, Ho Hos and Ding Dongs, will soon be ancient history, the US Senate is considering forever enshrining sport hunting with its very own act of Congress, the “Sportsmen’s” Act of 2013.

Those of you fortunate enough to own a first edition copy of Exposing the Big Game are in possession of a collector’s item. Subsequent printings will have the word “Twinkie” removed, since future generations will have no idea what they were. [Update: Twinkies are back much to the delight of Elmers and Elmerettes everywhere].

The following paragraph from the book mentions the iconic junk food in association with an exceptionally despicable form of hunting–bear baiting…

Sometimes Elmer sets out a pile of “bait,” using whatever he happens to have on hand. Today it’s Twinkies and hot dogs (no surprise there). Then he waits in a lawn chair safely perched on a tree stand (a platform secured high in a tree, reminiscent of his childhood tree-house) for an unsuspecting ursine to discover his offering. To pass the time, Elmer reads a frightening bear-scare story in the latest issue of his favorite sportsmen’s magazine. After a while, a beastly bruin catches wind of his Twinkies. Now it’s time for action! With the scary bear’s attention focused on the goodies, the plucky huntsman makes his kill.

Unfortunately, now anti-hunters won’t be able to use the “Twinkie Defense” if they go ballistic to protect an animal from hunters like Elmer.

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White Hunter “Perverse Little Creatures from another Planet without any Dignity”

Hoping to hear a good anti-hunting line or two, I watched the Clint Eastwood film, White Hunter Black Heart last night. Though overly focused on Eastwood’s character, John Wilson (a thinly-veiled representation bordering on caricature of the director John Huston), who flies to Africa to shoot a film…but is really more interested in shooting an elephant—literally and lethally. After spotting a large “tusker” bull, Wilson becomes obsessed with getting “My elephant” (as he referred to the noble animal).

As it turns out, it was John Wilson’s sidekick, Pete Verrill (played by Jeff Fahey), the screenwriter on Wilson’s film project (and the stand-in for the director’s non-existent conscience) who voiced the story’s classic anti-hunting line. Looking at the impressive bull elephant (the object of Wilson’s obsession) through binoculars, Pete Verrill remarks, “Oh. I’ve never seen one before, outside the circus or the zoo. They’re so majestic; so indestructible. They’re part of the earth. They make us feel like perverse little creatures from another planet. Without any dignity.”

Though Clint Eastwood has a hard time losing himself in his characters, he was clearly not portraying himself through this director with a big-game trophy-hunter wanna-be fixation. Eastwood himself is a bit too evolved and intelligent for that, as evidenced by his statement to the Los Angeles Times: “I don’t go for hunting. I just don’t like killing creatures.”

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7 Reasons the Left Should NOT Be Pro-Hunting

Here’s a clever little article which appeared on a site called “Ammoland.com” over a year ago, on Monday, May 14, 2012. Entitled, “7 Reasons the Left Should Be Pro-Hunting,” it was meant to spur on the passage of a “Sportsmen’s” Heritage Act [the senate version of which must be stopped in its tracks this summer]. My comments are injected within [brackets]…

Columbus, OH –(Ammoland.com)- The last 30 days have been chock full of key events that have a tremendous impact on the future of hunting, fishing and recreational shooting in America – events that are leading many sportsmen and women to draw conclusions about (or further cement their conclusions about) Democratic decision makers.
•In the nation’s capitol, Congress debated sportsmen’s access to public land, whether EPA could regulate ammunition and fishing tackle, whether recreational shooting should be permissible on national monument land where compatible, and last whether the United States should allow the importation of legally hunted trophies.
•In California, the Senate debated whether to ban hunting black bears and bobcats using hounds.
•In Ohio, lawmakers protested colleagues holding clay bird shooting events as political fundraisers in the wake of a school shooting that occurred in February 250 miles away from the proposed event.

In each of these cases, it was Democrats who led the charge opposing hunting rights, restricting target shooting or decrying the use of firearms for recreational purposes.
•In Congress, HR, 4089, the Sportsmen’s Heritage Act passed by an overwhelming 274-146 vote. Of the no votes, 144 were Democrats. (79% of the Democrats in the U.S. House)
•In California, SB 1221 passed the Senate Natural Resources Committee 5-3; followed by a 5-2 vote before the Appropriations Committee. All yes votes were Democrats. Not a single democrat voted to protect hunting.
•And as one might expect, the howls of protest over the shooting event fundraiser in Ohio were by Democratic lawmakers; while the shoot was held by a Republican.

It’s not news that sportsmen have a much harder time gaining support from Democratic lawmakers. The question68439_10151399495155861_1116657731_n is why?

There are so many reasons why the left-wing should love American hunters.

[Puke.]

Here are seven:

[Why only 7—was that as high as they could count?]

•We’re a minority. There are roughly 20 million hunters in the United States, making us less than seven percent of the population. Democrats purport to be the champions of the under-represented. Here we are!

[Hunters are underrepresented? Whoa, hold on there a minute pardner—I gotta call bull on that one— if anything they’re overrepresented, I’d say. No other group that size enjoys near as much representation!]

•We eat free range / organic food. Democrats decry large livestock farms, and the use of hormones in meat. Whether deer or duck, game is the ultimate healthy choice. What’s the difference between free-range chicken and free-range pheasant?

[Far from health-food, wild ducks and geese are rife with lead-poisoning, fish with mercury, while deer and elk carry chronic wasting disease acquired by eating contaminated feed meant for livestock. You’d have to have a serious case of mad-cow disease to call that “organic.”]

•We preserve green space. No single group of Americans puts more money into habitat acquisition and preservation than hunters…billions upon billions of our license dollars and taxes on firearms and ammunition for land that everyone else can use for free. I thought Democrats love free stuff!

[Billions? That’s a bit of an exaggeration, I’m sure—unless someone’s spending a shitload on ammo. And besides, the “green space” they speak of is a war zone for much of the year. Most people don’t want to have to watch out for land-mines in the form of traps and dodge stray bullets to recreate in their green spaces.]

•We feed the hungry. Each year, hunters donate thousands of pounds of venison to local food pantries. One would think the party of the Great Society would welcome our contribution to the safety net.

[Not if they love deer in addition to people. Giving the flesh of their victims away is just a feel-good excuse for their favorite sport—killing]

•We support women’s rights. There are few things that make a sportsman happier than successfully hooking a woman on hunting. We’re even okay that they outshoot us many times.

[Great, that’s all we need are more Sarah Palin-types getting hooked on hunting by someone who thinks women’s rights include the equal right to become a deadly and destructive “sportsman.”]

•We’re just regular folks. For every African big-game hunter, there are thousands of hunters making a blue-collar living, and driving our American made trucks.

[Gas-guzzling, carbon-spewing American made trucks with mondo brush-crushing tires, displaying bumper stickers like: “Fish Slayer” and “Ditch the Bitch, let’s go huntin’”]

•We’re animal lovers. Hunters are the ones who pay for endangered species rehabilitation, not Hollywood actors or fashion models. And don’t even get me started on our dogs. No one loves and is more obsessed with dogs than hunters. And we don’t keep our dogs caged in purses where they can’t even turn around or stretch their legs.

[Oh sure, I’ve seen how you treat your hounds and “bird-dogs.” The only time they get out of their crate or kennel is during hunting season.]

My hope is that our left-leaning law makers will read this article, and realize that we really do have so much in common. And that they will join the minority of Democratic legislators who do vote pro-hunting and put an end to the discrimination that we have endured over the last thirty plus years. I’m hoping their position on hunting is evolving.
[Good fuckin’ luck, buddy. Not unless they are all too preoccupied by news of which celebrity died that day or who is having a babies to notice that the last of our public lands are being opened up for hunting and that our roadless wilderness areas are about to be exploited by the Senate version of the “Sportsmens” Heritage Act coming up for a vote this summer.]

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