Are you tired of hearing about Paul Ryan yet? I know I am. After learning that he is a ‘diehard’ bowhunter, I didn’t think anything else about him would surprise me. But during a recent interview in Deer and Deer Hunting magazine he let slip just how much of a trophy hunter he really is.

Though he seems to actually enjoy getting his hands all bloody butchering his victims himself, the killing is clearly not about procuring cost-effective food for him—in Ryan’s own words, his fantasy dream hunt would be costly: “…one of my goals is to get a ‘grand slam’ of sheep with a bow,” Ryan told the deer-snuff magazine. “It would be very tough and very expensive.” For those lucky readers who don’t know what a ‘grand slam’ of sheep is, it’s the brutal murder of one each of the four different North American wild sheep, which include Alaska’s Dall sheep, Stone sheep (found only in northern Canada), Rocky Mountain bighorn and the Mexican desert bighorn. It’s like a golf tour for psychopathic animal killers.

Text and Wildlife Photography ©Jim Robertson

Paul Ryan told Deer Hunting his idol is the first archer who shot and killed all 27 species of North American ‘big game’ during a despicable form of legal serial murder known as the ‘super slam.’ “I’m just pretty typical for a Wisconsin guy,” Ryan added, confessing: “I love hunting and fishing. Bowhunting is my passion…preparing food plots, the strategy of where a dominant buck is living or will be moving and then being in position to get a shot, that’s really exciting.” (Hmm, he and I have an altogether different idea on the definition of passion and excitement, although I suppose another one of his fellow serial killers could relate.)

There’s malevolence in the act of bowhunting and Ryan is admittedly obsessed with doing it. (The same issue of Deer and Deer Hunting that features his interview includes an article titled, “How to Recover a Bow-Shot Deer.” Obviously it’s pretty much impossible to make a ‘clean,’ instantaneous kill with an arrow.) He may never be inducted into the ‘Bowhunters Hall of Fame,’ but there’s a very real, very frightening possibility of him eventually becoming President of the United States.

The thought of a trophy bowhunter, among the most sadistic of ‘sportsmen,’ being just a heartbeat away from the presidency of the country with the most nuclear weaponry at its disposal is cause for concern, to say the least. Who’s to say he won’t get a wild hair and decide to take out a small country or two just for the sport of it? So much for compassionate leaders—half our registered voters are considering making a conscious-less animal killer our next commander-in-chief-in-waiting.

And we thought having Ronald Reagan in control of the red button was scary.