Tag Archives: ted nugent

Finding the Christmas Miracle

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This is the time of year when people like to find the silver lining in things. The phenomenon is especially obvious during mainstream media newscasts, as the networks are keenly aware that their viewers might abandon them and move on to a different channel if they stick too close to the reality of a given situation on this, the holiest of nights.

So, in the spirit of silver linings, I’m going to try to be positive and find the “Christmas miracle” in everything (at least until December 26th anyway). Okay, here we go…

-Although the Earth’s climate is changing faster than scientists originally predicted—due to the ongoing, rampant, anthropogenic burning of fossil fuels like coal, oil and natural gas, resulting in worsening droughts, more intense hurricane and fire seasons and a record melt-down of the Arctic ice cap—at least we survived the Mayan Apocalypse.

-Even if Ted Nugent personally poached and otherwise killed an inestimable, undisclosed number of bear, deer, elk and other undeserving victims this year, at least his silly T.V. show was cancelled.

-Though there was an increase in the number of noble, majestic elk who were senselessly yet legally “harvested” (read: murdered) by sportsmen in Montana this year, the numbers are in from hunter check stations for the final weekend of the general big game season across the state and overall it looks like 2012 saw fewer hunters taking fewer animals….(That one was easy; I just put a positive spin on the original end of the year report by the Montana game department that read, “The numbers are in from hunter check stations for the final weekend of the general big game season across Montana and overall it looks like 2011 saw fewer hunters taking fewer animals. One bright spot seemed to be a small increase in the elk harvest in several areas.”)

-Despite widespread trapping of mink, marten, otter, raccoon, beaver, muskrat, bobcat, fox and about every other “furbearer” in the state of Montana, the wolverine are off the hit-list there…for now.

-While gun sales set a record on Black Friday and spiked even higher since the Sandy Hook school massacre, at least some of this year’s crazed gunmen did the world a favor and eventually turned their weapons on themselves.

-Although 115 wolves have been sadistically slaughtered in Wisconsin (in addition to hundreds of others shot and trapped in the Lower 48 so far this year), that state has reached its “quota,” so no more wolves there can be legally killed by hunters…at least until the next hunting season (hunters there are calling for an unlimited quota next time).

-Despite the fact that we’re in the midst of the sixth mass extinction event in the planet’s history with so many species going extinct per year that no one can possibly keep track, remote cameras recently photographed both an ocelot and a jaguar in southern Arizona.

-And on a personal note: although, due to his failing health, my 87 year old father was spaced out and barely able to whisper a word or acknowledge anything the entire day yesterday, he suddenly started smiling and became animated and engaged when he found himself winning nearly every hand at poker last night (by the end of the game, he had amassed an enormous pile of chips and the rest of us were bankrupt).

Seasons Greetings and always keep an eye out for that elusive silver lining!

Text and Wildlife Photography ©Jim Robertson

Text and Wildlife Photography ©Jim Robertson

You Say You Want a Revolution

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The Beatles’ “White Album” (arguably their finest, next to Revolver, Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, Magical Mystery Tour, Abbey Road or Let It Be) includes a laid back acoustic version of their hit song, “Revolution,” titled, “Revolution 1” (not to be confused with the bazaar, surely drug-induced “Revolution 9”). Of course, they sound like they’re on some kind of drugs (probably downers) in “Revolution 1;” they added an exaggerated, mockingly mellow “shoo be do” between “don’t you know it’s gonna be” and “alright.”

But the main difference between that song and the well-known standard, top-40, rock version of “Revolution” (which was released at the same time as “Hey Jude”) is that in “Revolution 1,” after the line “but when you talk about destruction, don’t you know that you can count me out” John Lennon can be heard in the background adding the word “in” (almost as an afterthought).

This brings up an issue dear to the hearts of some of you readers. We all know that hunting is a war on wildlife—hunters are the terrorists, and the animals (along with those of us who care passionately about them) are the terrorized. Here’s an opportunity for a round table discussion on the pros and cons—the merits and detriments—of destruction. What’s it gonna be people, “out” or “in”?

Your comments are welcome…just remember, this is a public site, please don’t say anything too incriminating. You wouldn’t want to end up like Ted Nugent promises he’ll soon be—either “dead or in jail”—for saying something ted-fully stupid like, “We need to ride into that battlefield and chop their [Democrats] heads off,” a comment which earned him a visit from the FBI and/or the Secret Service.

Text and Wildlife Photography ©Jim Robertson

Well, Ted, We’re Waiting…

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Over the Thanksgiving weekend, Paul Ryan proved he was true to his word (unfortunately) and made good on his promise to see that his 10 year old daughter kills her first deer this year.

Now it’s time for his fellow die-hard bowhunting fanatic, Ted Nugent, to live up to (so to speak) a promise he made back in April. According to the website Right Wing Watch, Nugent swore that: “If Barack Obama becomes the President in November again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year.”

It seems to me, if Nugent’s a man of his word, he has only five months to either die or go to jail. Well, Ted, we’re waiting…

Right Wing Watch reports that at the NRA’s national convention, Nugent called Obama a criminal and denounced his “vile, evil, America-hating administration” which is “wiping its ass with the Constitution.” And he concluded a video stumping for Mitt Romney with, “We need to ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November. Any questions?” Meanwhile, Romney stated on a radio show, “It’s been fun getting to know Ted Nugent.”

With friends like Ted, who needs enemies?

 

Great News! The “Sportsmen’s” Act is Dead…for Now

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Great news—the “Sportsmen’s” Act of 2012 did not get past the Senate. Ironically, it was the Republicans that killed the bill. Not because of any great concern for wilderness or wildlife—quite the opposite; they just didn’t like how much of the budget the bill allocated for conservation projects.

What really doesn’t make sense is why every Democrat (except for Senator Barbara Boxer) voted to approve a bill with a main goal of opening up even more public lands for hunters. Why, for instance, did my two Senators from Washington State approve of a bill that would have allowed for the importation of “trophy” polar bear carcasses from Canada, undermining the ESA? And what did they stand to gain by giving a de facto federal thumbs-up to lead buckshot and other ammunition that have already poisoned so many birds, including endangered condors?

We dodged the bullet this time, but in the years to come there are sure to be other “sportsmen’s” acts rearing their hideously ugly heads (I was just going to say “ugly heads,” until I saw that one of my regular readers used the fitting adverb “hideously” before “ugly head” in reference to these contemptible acts). We can count on more puff about allowing bowhunting in parklands where wildlife is currently protected, more trophy hunters whining against regulations and most nauseating of all, politicians of both parties waxing poetic about hunting.

Hell, some people won’t be satisfied until Ted Nugent’s (hideously ugly) head is carved into Mt. Rushmore alongside Teddy Roosevelt’s.

The People Have Spoken: Global Warming, Real—Magic Underpants, Not

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Well, the votes are in and counted; a decision has been made. The people have spoken: global warming is real—magic underpants are not. And bowhunters are not fit to hold higher office, much to the disappointment of Paul Ryan and his role model, Ted Nugent. By shunning the diehard deer hunter, the voters have made it clear that the animals of the Earth are not mere playthings for the rich and famous, the powerful and perverse.

Perhaps now that the election is over we can forget about magic underpants and begin to focus our attention on the real issue that affects all our lives—namely, how human actions are changing the planet’s climate.

According to Kevin Knobloch, with the Union of Concerned Scientists, “President Obama has won another four years in office. In the wake of destruction left by Hurricane Sandy, the country may have experienced its first election disrupted by global warming. What makes this even more troubling is that the urgent crisis of climate change was never meaningfully discussed in the debates or on the campaign trail. After a year of punishing droughts in our nation’s breadbasket, extreme heat across most of the country, and wildfires that devastated our forests and property, it is now time to turn up the heat on our political leaders. Even with the continued polarization in Washington D.C., there is much President Obama can do to adopt science-based solutions that permanently drive down our carbon emissions and more effectively prepare for the climate-related disasters that will continue to threaten our lives and livelihoods.”

The trick will be making sure our lives and livelihoods don’t compound the problems of global warming. For example, shipping freighter-loads of coal across the ocean to be burned in Chinese power plants might provide a few jobs here for some, but is it worth the trade-off of carbon emissions produced?  Is the hedonism of the Western diet worth the continued suffering of billions of animals and the methane they produce? “Real change” will take real commitment and real innovation, rather than business as usual.

Cartoon © Rob Tornoe, 2012. All Rights Reserved

If They Mated…

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Those who watched Late Night with Conan O’Brien (that goofy red-haired guy who was going to take over the Tonight Show when Jay Leno moved to the 10:30 time-slot and then found out he wasn’t making enough money there and stole the show back from Conan—who is much funnier and who would have put him to shame in the ratings) remember a bit he did called “If They Mated.” Using the latest computer technology formerly known only to NASA to explore worlds beyond our galaxy, they were able to show us what certain celebrities’ (who’ve been rumored to be going out together) babies would look like…if they mated.

Upon learning that turrible Ted Nugent (bow hunting enthusiast, outspoken NRA supporter and wanna-be musician) was caught by the camera with his arm around former VP candidate and fellow bloodthirsty Republican animal assassin, Sarah Palin (aka: “Caribou Barbie”),…

…I borrowed the technology from Conan (who, as you know, borrowed it from NASA) to find out what their baby would look like…IF THEY MATED:

Nine Signs You’re at a Paul Ryan Rally

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Nine Signs You’re at a Paul Ryan Rally:

9)  All the babies are in cammo diapers

8)  Senior citizens seen fleeing in mortal fear

7)  Secret service guys are the only ones carrying concealed weapons

6)  Has-beens, wanna-bes and never-weres (such as Ted Nugent and Kid Rock) are crowding the stage, hoping someone will recognize them

5)  Rapists are handing out cigars, in the tradition of proud fathers everywhere

4)  The candidate looks like a scary version of Eddie Munster

3)  Fang marks left on all the babies he’s kissed

2)  Instead of shaking hands with voters, Ryan is trading deer sausage recipes

1)  Some Bubba is going around bragging, “I bought my 10 year-old girl a rifle and I’m gonna teach her how to kill a deer this year!”—wait a minute, that’s the candidate!

Text and Wildlife Photography ©Jim Robertson

Ryan: Boy Scout or Dangerous Psychopath?

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Today the Huffington Post covered Paul Ryan’s mixed record on the outdoors. Of course right-leaning bowhunters were thrilled about their candidate’s choice for a running mate (yes, the majority of hunters are red-state Republicans, but they do come in all political stripes.) It’s no surprise that the NRA gave him an ‘A’ rating. Hailed as “the last Boy Scout” by none other than Rush Limbaugh, Ryan must have earned his merit badges in cruelty to animals, pandering to weapons manufacturers and “virtuous” selfishness (one of the only two bills Ryan has ever ushered into law during his congressional career was a cap on excise tax on bowhunting equipment).

Sure, presidential candidates pandering to gun lobbies or seeking to secure the sportsmen’s vote is nothing new.  From the likes of Teddy Roosevelt with his head-hunting safaris here and in Africa, to John Kerry with his backfiring cammo-clad goose-hunt-media-stunt, to Dick Cheney blindly blasting at birds (spraying lead at anything or anyone that moves),  politicians have shamelessly courted the hunter vote while helping to promote the wise-use twaddle that “hunters are the best environmentalists.” For
his part, the great “varmint” hunter, George W. Bush, penned executive order 13443 on August 17, 2007, encouraging more hunting in parks and on national wildlife refuges.

Cleveland Amory, founder of The Fund for Animals, had this to say about President Roosevelt in his anti-hunting epic, Man Kind? Our Incredible War on Wildlife: “Theodore Roosevelt…could not be faulted for at least some efforts in the field of conservation. But here the praise must end. When it came to killing animals, he was close to psychopathic.” Dangerously close indeed (think: Ted Bundy). But don’t let on to a hunter what you think of their esteemed idol, because, as Mr. Amory put it, “…the least implication anywhere that hunters are not the worthiest souls since the apostles drives them into virtual paroxysms of self-pity.”

Amory goes on to write, “…the hunter, seeing there would soon be nothing left to kill, seized upon the new-fangled idea of ‘conservation’ with a vengeance. Soon they had such a stranglehold [think: Ted Nugent] on so much of the movement that the word itself was turned from the idea of protecting and saving the animals to the idea of raising and using them–for killing. The idea of wildlife ‘management’–for man, of course–was born.”

Though Roosevelt probably killed more trophy “game” animals than all our other presidents combined, in terms of a potential policy maker who could spell doom for wildlife and wilderness for generations to come, Ryan is even more dangerous. His budget plan calls for selling off public lands to private individuals, essentially turning the last of the wild places into high-end private game reserves for trophy hunting. Some of his ideas make the so-called “Sportsmen’s Heritage Act,” which would open our national parks and refuges to hunting (a bill Ryan enthusiastically supported) seem almost tame.

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Portions of this post were excerpted from the book, Exposing the Big Game: Living Targets of a Dying Sport

Text and Wildlife Photography Copyright Jim Robertson

America Needs Compassionate Leaders, Not Bowhunters

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Not one to miss an opportunity to weigh in whenever his favorite hobby—killing animals—is mentioned in the news, terrible Ted Nugent made this statement to Newsmax about Paul Ryan yesterday: “He’s an addicted bowhunter…just what America needs in leadership…”

Funny, that’s just the opposite of what I was about to say. The last thing any country needs is someone in a leadership position whose pastime is the “primal pursuit of game with a self-limiting weapon,” as Nugent put it. Anyone whose idea of entertainment is impaling animals with arrows has some serious issues.

While testing one’s skill at archery against a backdrop of straw bales can be meditative and rewarding, using an animal as your living target is nothing short of sadism. Bowhunters cripple just as many animals as they kill outright and victims who escape with an arrow stuck in them are bound to die a slow death from infection.

“Bowhunting is one of the most vicious and inaccurate ways to kill an animal,” according to a petition seeking to Abolish Bowhunting and end the brutality!!! Glenn Helgeland unwittingly backs this up, telling his “Fins and Feathers” readers: “The rule of thumb has long been that we should wait 30 to 45 minutes on heart and lung hits, an hour or more on a suspected liver hit, eight to 12 hours on paunch hits, and that we should follow up immediately on hindquarter and other muscle hits, ‘to keep the wound open and bleeding’.”

Neither Ryan nor Nugent are impoverished (at least monetarily), so any claims they might make of needing to hunt for the sake of sustenance border on the absurd. Instead, their acts are inspired purely by selfishness (a “virtue” according to Ryan’s idol, Ayn Rand).

Compassion, humaneness and altruism are the kind of characteristics we should expect from this country’s leaders, not cruelty, violence and self-centeredness.

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/abolish-bowhunting-and-end-the-brutality/

Text and Wildlife Photography Copyright Jim Robertson

In the Eyes of the Hunted, There’s No Such Thing as an “Ethical Hunter”

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Enough of this championing one type of hunter over the other already! It just helps perpetuate the myth of the “ethical hunter.” You’re more likely to see a UFO land in the middle of a crop circle than to meet a hunter who is truly ethical to the animals he kills. How can tracking down an inoffensive creature and blasting it out of existence ever really be ethical anyway? No matter how a hunter may rationalize, or claim to give thanks to the animal’s spirit, the dying will never see their killer’s acts as the least bit honorable.

I’m sure Ted Nugent considers himself an ethical hunter. Hell, Ted Bundy likely thought himself an ethical serial killer. But to their victims they’re just murderous slobs. Likewise, Teddy Roosevelt—who, in his two-volume African Game Trails, lovingly muses over shooting elephants, hippos, buffaloes, lions, cheetahs, leopards, giraffes, zebras, hartebeest, impalas, pigs, the not-so-formidable 30-pound steenbok and even a mother ostrich on her nest—considered himself an exceedingly ethical hunter.

Copyright Jim Robertson

All hunters, whether they call it an act of sport or subsistence, eat what they kill (or at least give the meat away to others). Would Jeffrey Dahmer be considered ethical just because he ate those he murdered? Though some get more pleasure out of the dirty deed of killing than others, no hunter would even be out there doing it if they didn’t get some joy out of the act of stalking and “bagging” their prey. But there are less destructive ways to get your kicks and healthier, less costly sources of nourishment than cholesterol-laden, carcinogenic rotting flesh.

Though they may not take trophies or photographs of themselves with their kill, nearly everyone who hunts gets some kind of a thrill when boasting about their conquest or sharing the spoils at the neighborhood barbeque.

In the book, Exposing the Big Game, I quote Farley Mowat, the sagacious naturalist and author of the 1963 trendsetter, Never Cry Wolf, whose firsthand insight into the hunter mindset should lay to rest the myth of the “ethical hunter:”

“Almost all young children have a natural affinity for other animals…When I was a boy growing up on the Saskatchewan prairies, that feeling of affinity persisted—but it became perverted. Under my father’s tutelage I was taught to be a hunter; taught that ‘communion with nature’ could be achieved over the barrel of a gun; taught that killing wild animals for sport establishes a mystic bond, ‘an ancient pact’ between them and us.

“I learned first how to handle a BB gun, then a .22 rifle and finally a shotgun. With these I killed ‘vermin’—sparrows, gophers, crows and hawks. Having served that bloody apprenticeship, I began killing ‘game’—prairie chicken, ruffed grouse, and ducks. By the time I was fourteen, I had been fully indoctrinated with the sportsman’s view of wildlife as objects to be exploited for pleasure.

“Then I experienced a revelation…” 

Farley Mowat, is his eloquent and sometimes verbose way, goes on to tell of wounding a goose who yearns to join her fast disappearing flock. You can read the entire piece in my book or in his foreword to Captain Paul Watson’s Ocean Warrior, but to make a long, sad story short, he ends with:

“Driving home to Saskatoon that night I felt a sick repugnance for what we had done…I never hunted again.”

Now that’s what I call an ethical hunter.