Tag Archives: duck

Duck Dynasty’s Evil is Spreading

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Some folks may be wondering why we let ourselves get worked up over a stupid faux “reality” TV show like Duck Dynasty; what harm are they doing by showing their hairy mugs for money and attention (and a lot of both). Well, I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it: their idiocy seems to be catching.

In all the years I’ve lived by this waterfowl wintering area, people have been respectful of the No Hunting Access sign. Now you find spent shotgun shells along the road overlooking the bay–a sure sign that bozo Robertson wanna-bes are shooting out at ducks who take refuge in the calm waters there.

And just today a boat full of duck hunters motored their boat through a flock of 100

—Text and Wildlife Photography ©Jim Robertson, 2013. All Rights Reserved

—Text and Wildlife Photography ©Jim Robertson, 2013

trumpeter swans, driving them across the river to an island infested with hunters shooting from their duck blinds.

It only takes a few boneheads to ruin it for everyone–especially if they have their own TV show.

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Duck Dynasty Gun Ads: Blowing A Duck’s Head Off Makes Phil Robertson Happy

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Duck Dynasty Gun Ads: Blowing A Duck’s Head Off Makes Phil Robertson Happy

The Connecticut based weapons manufacturer Mossberg & Sons announced a partnership with the self-proclaimed “rednecks” Duck Dynasty last summer to sell a line of 12 DD themed weapons. The weapons are coated in camouflage and have the words “Faith. Family. Ducks.” displayed on them.

A series of ads featuring the Duck patriarch, Phil Robertson, aired right before Robertson made anti-LGBT and racist comments in a December GQ interview.

In one of the ads, two of the DD sons prepare to kill ducks as Father Phil recites the opening lines from the Constitution.

 “Those are rights that no government can take from you to live, be free and pursue happiness,” Robertson says in a voice-over. “You know what makes me happy, ladies and gentlemen? To blow a mallard drake’s head smooth off.”

In addition to the DD weapons that kill ducks dead, Mossberg’s website also advertises .22 caliber weapons that are “perfect for small game, plinking (and) target shooting – or cleaning cottonmouths out of your duck blind.”

Of course no Duck Dynasty weapon advertisement would be prudent without utilizing a biblical reference: “Where there is a design, there is a designer. We were designed to kill ducks.”

The DD themed weapon collection also includes military-style designs with large capacity magazines that hold at least 25 rounds that are too powerful for small game. The entire line consists of nine different shotguns, as well as two semiautomatic rifles and a semiautomatic pistol.

Mossberg says each gun will come with an American flag bandana.

After Papa Duck made his homophobic and racist comments in the GQ article, A&E announced the suspension of Robertson. Conservatives flipped out. Days later, Robertson was reinstated. …coughcoughpublicitystuntcoughcough….

Article and Video here: http://samuel-warde.com/2014/01/duck-dynasty-gun-ad/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+SamuelWarde+%28Samuel+Wynn+Warde%29

I’m Not one of those Duck Dynasty Douchebags

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Make no mistake; though my last name is Robertson, I’m no relation to those imposters from that stupid “reality” TV show, “Duck Dynasty” whose ugly mugs grace the front of a new line of T-shirts for sale at Wal Mart.

How do I know they’re ugly when I don’t get cable and have only seen their show once, for less than a minute? It’s true you can’t really tell what they look like under all that facial hair, but like I said, I saw their show once—for almost a minute. That’s all it took to see how ugly they are on the inside.

Before I realized what I’d stumbled upon and could flip the channel away from the enticing ignorance, I was forced to endure a tactless, feeble joke about roadkill and the approving chortles that followed.

The attitude toward wildlife exhibited by the “cast” of Douche Dynasty is an insult to the Robertson’s good name and a blasphemy to ducks and geese everywhere.

My great grandfather didn’t immigrate here from Scotland only to have the Robertson name sullied by a bunch of celebrity-wanna-bes or ZZ Top impersonators, sans the fuzzy guitars.

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How Do I Hate Thee, Let Me Count the Ways

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Now before you go taking offense to this post’s title, let me reassure you that it’s not directed specifically to you, dear reader. I know human beings are not infallible, yet only a few are irredeemable. No, the title is meant for the species Homo sapiens in general, as in…

Humankind, how do I hate thee, let me count the ways:

– I hate that whenever I walk quietly past a local pond, all the ducks, geese and herons rise up and take flight in mortal terror at the sight of a possibly armed and potentially deadly human.
– I can’t stand that the fear of man has become so prevalent that many of our fellow mammalian species have had to adapt by becoming nocturnal.
– I hate that there’s almost nowhere left on the planet where you don’t hear some annoying human noise during the day or see their lights at night.
– I loathe the fact that soon the only species in existence will be those that are forced to serve humankind.
– I hate that the only time wildlife can catch a break is when humans are busy warring with each other.
– And I find insufferable that the most evil genes over the ages keep getting passed on to future generations.

Text and Wildlife Photography ©Jim Robertson, 2013. All Rights Reserved

Text and Wildlife Photography ©Jim Robertson, 2013. All Rights Reserved

The First Slugs and Other Signs of Spring

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I’m getting pretty low on firewood, but not worry–Spring must be right around the corner. Today I saw the first turkey vulture of the season being chased by a pair of overprotective prospective raven parents, the slugs have awakened from their long winters’ nap and the ducks are back in the pond, preparing to nest.

Text and Wildlife Photography ©Jim Robertson, 2013. All Rights Reserved

Text and Wildlife Photography ©Jim Robertson, 2013. All Rights Reserved

The Dreaded Day is Upon Us

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I awoke this morning to the sound of angry gunfire. Not just the occasional, distant pop, pop but a constant blam, blam, blam symptomatic of wartime—or of people shooting blindly into a whole flock or herd of fleeing animals. I knew it was almost “general deer season,” but this sounded more like the kind of mindless blasting that goes on during goose and duck season in the winter months around here. So I checked the Washington “game” regulations and sure enough, an all-out “incredible war on wildlife” (as Cleveland Amory put it) had begun!

Not only is Oct. 13th (fittingly) the opening day of deer season, it’s also an early opener on ducks and geese today as well. From now until the end of November, no deer, elk, goose, duck or bear is safe from human harm. Meanwhile, species like cougar, bobcat, fox or raccoon will be under the gun until mid-March. And coyotes, crows and other “common” animals can be killed year-round in this supposedly blue state. The only beings not on the list of allowable targets are six endangered species (who of course were driven to the edge of extinction by overhunting decades ago).

I knew this dreaded day was coming; I just hoped it wouldn’t get here this soon. On the bright side, this is also the first day of a long streak of steady fall rain storms which should make for some rusty guns, water-logged campsites and miserably wet nimrods.

Text and Wildlife Photography ©Jim Robertson